Myths We Believe as a Mom

Myths We Believe as a Mom

Myths We Believe as Moms, and Why They Suck

OK, mamas. As moms, there have been things that we have been told by society or that we tend to believe. But the truth is that some of these things are not true. And what can happen if we don’t leave these lies? We can start losing our ability to be peaceful parents. Let’s take a look at some of the myths we believe as moms. (Read: How to Say Goodbye to Angry Mommy.)

Mommy Wars

This is a story that I have shared before, but I’m going to share it again. Do you guys know the term mommy wars? Well, when I had my oldest daughter 

There were a lot of mommy wars going on my social media. Women’s B was born she was born at 32 weeks. Her older brother David was born at 27 weeks and did not make it. I had been on hospital bed rest with Brooklyn for five weeks. And she spent four weeks in the NICU. 

When David was born, I was born at 27 weeks, my milk came in, and I was pumping because he was so tiny he wasn’t able to take a bottle. After he passed away six days later, my milk supply was still coming in. As a grieving mom, this was extremely hard for me because I had to do what they call pump and dump. I had to wean my breast milk and stop pumping. If I had thought about it and someone had told me that I could continue to pump for other needy children, I probably would have taken them up on the offer, but no one had explained to me how traumatic this experience would be on my body. 

Breastfeeding Vs. Bottle Feeding

When B was born, I wanted to breastfeed her. I pumped on the clock, but I could only pump so much, and then, for no reason whatsoever that we could figure out, my breastmilk supply started dwindling. I worked with a lactation consultant, and I tried everything I could, but first, I could not produce any more milk. Wow, this was going on. A few friends on my Facebook were sprouting the idea that breast milk is best, which I am not disputing; I believe breast milk is best. But they also condemned anyone who uses the formula for any reason. 

This was extremely difficult for me. I already have anxiety because of losing David and being in the hospital with Miss Beaver for so long. I didn’t think that I was not doing what was best for my child and that I needed to try harder to give my child breast milk, which caused me to have more anxiety.

This light took my piece for a short amount of time. But then I realized that that was exactly what it was: a lie. I was still a great mom, and I had done everything I could to give my child the best start to her life.

What Are Some More Myths That Moms or Society Believe About Moms?

If You Sacrifice Self-Care, You Are a Good Mom

Have you ever met a woman who is proud that she does not take care of herself? I have. There is an idea out there that says the worse you look as a mom, the worse you feel as a mom, the better you are being a mom. This idea is so twisted to me. Because what you were teaching your child when you sacrifice self-care is that moms don’t deserve to take care of their most basic needs. 

Instead of giving into the lie that you are only a good mom if you sacrifice your self-care, start telling yourself that you are a great mom and deserve to take care of yourself. When you take care of yourself, you are teaching your children. And teaching your children that they are important as adults when they grow up, especially if you have daughters, is being a good mom.

If I Take Time for Myself, my Kids Are Neglected 

This one can go along with self-care and sacrificing self-care. I have met moms who believe that they should not do anything unless it has to do with their children. There is a light out there that says if you take time for yourself, whether it’s to go to a spa, get your nails done without your children, get your hair done, or even go to the grocery store by yourself, then your children are neglected.

As long as your child’s basic needs are taken care of and they are in the care of a safe adult while you take a few minutes, an hour, or a couple of hours to be by yourself and recharge, then your child is not neglected. (Read Now: How to Stop Being So Irritated as a Mom.)